yoga

I was laying belly down on my yoga mat with the New Age music playing in the background. My head was turned to the left, seeing through the brown (and gray) curls that covered my face, and I wondered how I got here. Not to class, I drove myself to class. I mean, how did I get here in life?

How did I get this body? While lying on my belly for a mini-savasana, I can feel my ample bosom putting an arch into my back. I don’t lay flat because of my belly and chest. I know I earned my flabalanche by never refusing a cookie.

My yoga teacher vocalizes her intention of living in the moment, even if just for an hour.  How did I forget about living in the moment? I have so many schedules tapping through my mind at all times, it’s never quiet within me. There are constant calculations being done to compute meal prep time, delivery of humans to their various events and the completion of projects; personal or professional.

Life is this steady race of going, doing, keeping up and trying to maintain sanity. She, whose version of reality is the closest to actual reality in the end, wins. So, I try to focus on what is important and what is real. I try to ignore the excess unless I need a good giggle. I wouldn’t say I don’t have time to care for myself properly. I would say that I choose the easier alternative because there are so many other distractions at any given moment.

At least on my yoga mat, for an hour of time, I find some peace. I try to remind myself that I’m okay. And I consider trying to have one hour in my week wherein I stay entirely present. Until the next week. Back on the mat I realize, I completely forgot to stay present.

I love words. My head swirls with words. I have many deep thoughts. Some thoughts plague me. In order to release them, I have to assign words. Once the words are strung together, I feel free again.

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