I live in Michigan. I love living in Michigan. We are surrounded by water. So much water everywhere. Yet, it costs to live near water. So, I don’t. I live in what I call a land-locked situation. Neighboring homes are directly beside us and behind us. Separated only by concrete drives and paths. Land locked.

It’s summer and we’re having an extraordinarily long heat wave. Typically we get hot weather for a few days, then it drops back to sensible, lower humidity days. Then cycles back up. We ride the waves. But not this go-around.

Michigan heat isn’t like the desert. It’s not dry like an oven. It’s more like a rainforest: Hot, humid, and even in the shade sitting perfectly still, you might just start sweating. This would be fine for me if I had an opportunity to dip into some water and cool off. But besides the black garden hose, which is laying in wait on the south side of my house, and takes a really long time to flush out the cooked water, there is no relief.

So, I don’t go outside much. The weeds hardy enough to thrive in this heat are taking over. Soon my lot will look abandoned, because when we start the morning at 75 degrees, and we’re quickly climbing to 90, but with the humidity feels like 97… this doesn’t go out there.

Blessed be the people who value working out in this hot-breath-air to better facilitate a cleansing sweat.

Blessed be the people who own pools, boats, or live on a lake. (They really ought to be inviting over their land-locked friends.)

Blessed be the people who suffer Michigan winters for these extremely hot days so that they can finally shed their sweaters. How they do not sweat or dehydrate is something far beyond my comprehension.

Blessed be the people who go to the beach and don’t burn the skin of their feet walking on the scorched sand. (This weekend eleven beaches are closed for bacteria contaminations from unknown sources.)

Blessed be the people who have fully functioning air conditioning. Yes, I recognize the privilege that my house is somewhat cooled. Our bill for keeping the thermostat a balmy 78 degrees, while parts of the house sneak up to 82 degrees will rival a car payment.

Sincerely, though, blessed be the people who don’t have air conditioning, or even a home to hideaway in. This heatwave is intense. Since science be damned, my theory is the dumpsters of America seem to all be on fire. Perhaps this is the real reason the weather hasn’t abated.