I had a professor in college who advised us as womyn, we ought to challenge ourselves to learn to dine solo comfortably. Upon graduation, at my first job, I gave it a try. I went to a local Coney Island restaurant and was seated in a tiny booth for one. But, at the next table, that abutted mine, was my dad’s best friend with a co-worker. So, I didn’t count that, and tried again. Dining alone soon became no big deal.

I decided to level up when my kids were mid-sized. (Not babies, but not driving) I challenged myself to travel by myself. I found these little escapes to be very refreshing. I didn’t go far, since I’m not a fan of driving a car for more than 3.5 hours. Yet, once arrived, I didn’t have to think about anybody else’s needs. I could focus on my own hunger, interests, energy level.

Consider that by challenging myself I was putting a certain energy into the universe, because once I got comfortable taking little trips alone, I got a call asking if I’d travel to California for a photo shoot! It was one of my solo-exercises pumped up on steroids! I navigated planes, trains, ferries, and ubers. I got to explore San Francisco by myself. I discovered and fell in love with Tiburon. This lead to other traveling jobs and I got really good at figuring out a new town and looking about.

I would schedule a little trip for myself each autumn. And then… Covid. I had a travel photography job in February of 2020, and then the curtain fell. Because my focus shifted to making sure my family was as close to thriving as possible, I forgot about my own little trips. Now, in June of 2023, I unexpectedly landed some alone time in a city I’m not terribly familiar with.

The day before a family trip to Chicago, I got a call that someone I was supposed to meet up with after my family headed back home, was ill and I’d be on my own for a day and a half. The reservations were booked, so I decided to forge ahead. Oh yea, I remembered what it’s like to only consider myself. How delightful.

I woke up one morning and decided to figure out the public transportation system to get myself to the Pride Parade, because I’d never been to one in a big city, and I’m an ally. So, I did. I packed a water bottle and my trusty UV umbrella, and set out to breakfast. I walked confidently to the El station and got on the correct train and got off at the correct stop. I stayed for as long as I wanted to. On my way back I even did a train transfer and went to a shop. After that I hopped into an Uber for another part of town, and noticed I was hungry.

I found an open air restaurant within which to enjoy some Greek food. *chef’s kiss* I wandered home, exhausted, and lounged for the evening. I read, dozed, read, got bored of that book, picked up another one, dozed some more…

I love these little trips. I would have much preferred to visit with my friend, and I wish she wasn’t ill. But this unexpected bonus time reminded me that it’s been a minute since I did this whole alone-traveling-thing. I learn about myself when I’m by myself. I’m also challenged to learn to navigate different or new situations. That’s always a good thing. And I’m free to decide how to spend my time without any additional input or others to consider. It’s quite decompressing!

Being in the city was absolutely wonderful, though it did make me long for my little space back at home. While eating at a cafe counter facing the street, I watched a woman clean her car. I guess if that’s where she has to park, that’s where she’d be apt to clean the vehicle. I like the privacy of my own driveway. I guess despite appreciating a little bit of alone time, I realize, I am NOT a city girl. And that is a welcomed realization, too.